four

note to self : be strong !

it is a war i guess. sometimes feel like giving up. tp i know i cant
sebab ada dua insan yang menyebabkan aku perlu teruskan.
kalau ikutkan hati, dah lama aku bungkus baju, balik stay ipoh.
tapi untuk mereka, kene lah berkorban. untuk mak dengan ayah.
kejayaan tak datang tanpa usaha dan pengorbanan kan?

and that is what im doing now. usaha and usaha.

and pray to HIM.

thats all i can do.

three

wake up in the morning lepas denga nenek bising suruh bgn haha :)
tadi pegi pasar minggu

jalan jalan.
tengok orang. then berhenti nak beli buah

dengar makcik tu sembang dengan lagi sorang makcik

makcik 1 : laaa ingatkan sape tadi
makcik 2 : *gelak gelak. aku nak cepat tadi, tak sempat pakai tudung

aku tergamam. pandang adik aku, tnye dia
'denga tak tadi'?

adik aku angguk.

pasar minggu tu baru je bukak. orang pun tak ramai lagi. ape yang tk sempatnye pun
aku tk tau lah. macam pasar minggu tu nak lari jee. haih
makcik makcik


jalan jalan lagi
nampak dua pakcik tengah bersembang
sorang berdiri, sorang duduk atas motor

pakcik 1: tu la, ko tadi aku. blablabla
pakcik 2 : *dengar je

tiba tiba

pakcik 1 : eh mana bini aku ni? hilang dah. haih
cepat beno hilangnya.
pakcik 2 : *gelak

dah pakcik tu seronok beno menyembang, mana la nak perasan si bini tu pergi mana,
kan?

kesimpulannya, macam macam ragam manusia kan.
and kebanyakkannya memang pelik. haha

pelik tapi benar :)

two

i just got my result.

suprisingly, im not that happy eventhough both my parents were not mad.

why?

i also dont know why. its just mybe what i have done wasn't what i thought i would get.

i tried real hard to catch up on my studies and still showing progression on my art thing.

i stayed up till morning at the studio. I burned up my holidays. I put away my novels comics

and stuff.

I do everything i can.

ini ujian kan?

i should not give up.

mybe it is still not enough.

i started with nothing and i'll show that i will end up having everything.

things that they thought i would never get,

the opportunity that they think i would never get.

they'll see what i will be one day.

its a promise to myself.

one

suddenly it all come to me.
one after another.

i give all i can. i do what i had to do as a friend. but still nothing changes.
betul la orang kata, sekali kte buat silap, walaupun kecil kebaikan kte sebelum ni
yang beribu banyak tu terus hilang. kelam. apa yang dia nampak kesalahan kte yang kecil
lagi microcospic tu.

its just so wrong at so many levels. me, you and our friendship.
i tried everything i could to take things on the positive side like u always said
tapi it doesnt look what i thought it would be.
sorry, i screwed up. i just cant help seeing you in trouble, seeing you sad.
mybe you are right. what i did wasnt right

i just hope you understand what is my real intention is.
again im sorry i srewed up.
but u never know how i felt sbb i wont tell u a thing.
im happy if you are happy.